Back in March I'd started the following post:
"Last week I wished an old friend a happy 40th birthday. In the subsequent conversation he'd mentioned that 40 is the new 30 and I'd noted that it was excellent news as that would make me 24 again.
Since then I've been reflecting a bit on my life at 24 and trust me when I say that's enough to depress you. I was a trainwreck at 24. After a lousy breakup (that in hindsight wasn't nearly as much his fault as I made it out to be at the time) I had moved back into my parents house..."
I think I stopped writing it because I don't have the words to describe my 'then' in a way that wouldn't make my 'now' seem lesser than it is.
My life today is wonderful.
Life then was chaotic, filled with drama, love, hurt, a lot of alcohol, and not all that much common sense. I moved out, moved back home, and moved out again. Some friends make great roommates and sometimes living with a friend can cost you a friendship. I changed jobs a lot, dated a little bit though I always found ways to get out before things got serious. I lived with one of my best friends for 3 years, enabling each other to make poor choices with the safety net of a constant place to sleep at the end of it all. ended a friendship that had started before I was old enough to drive.
I love my husband, I'm planning a career change, I'm looking forward to be moving into a condo that we bought at summer's end, we're planning to start a family together. These are all amazing things and I cherish them but when I reflect back on my 20's, events and happenings seem vivid and thrilling in ways that current life just doesn't.
Maybe when I'm 44 the events of these few years will be brightly coloured and will glow in my memories the way that the past does now. I look forward to finding out.